When the narcissist wants to stay friends.
Updated: Oct 19, 2021
Ann came into the office confused as hers and James relationship was coming to an end. Although she already knew James was diagnosed as a psychopath with narcissistic tendencies she was perplexed. "James still wants to stay friends. After three years of loving him and he actually asked me to move into the house that was being vacated next door so that we can remain friends". I have always known he was off and witnessed several red flags. But have you ever heard such a thing?" She asked.
Ann was right not to ignore her gut instinct that something was fundamentally wrong with James idea to stay friends. Ignoring her gut feelings is why she had stayed in the dysfunctional relationship for so long. Like what was he going to do move his new girlfriend into the house she helped him pay for and she would just live next door. This is a classic example of how shallow the emotional bonds are with a disordered person. They absolutely have no ability to bond at the level as a normal functioning loving person. No empathy for what Ann is going through and what her healing process is going to entail because she truly loved him.
In 2016 Oakland University released a study done by researchers Justin Mogilski and Lisa Welling, that asked 860 people about their relationships to their former partners and their reasoning for wanting to remain friends. Options for reasons "I couldn't imagine my life without them" or, "I wanted to make their new romantic partner jealous."
The participants where also asked questions to determine if they fell into the pathological characteristics of psychopath and narcissism.
The study concluded that people who want to stay friends with their ex display psychopathic and narcissistic personality traits. It also concluded that they wanted to stay friends because they could gain something like sex, financial resources, or stroke their ego .
Narcissists do not like to lose their supply, they always have woman in the pipeline. The woman they are discarding or who is leaving him will be kept in the pipeline as a friend to be recycled later. While he is luring new victims and grooming others. He has many woman in rotation. "Lets stay friends is a scam" a way of further abusing you. Sever all ties go no contact and begin the work of healing.
NO contact is the initial step to healing. There is much work to be done and I can help you. Please reach out to me and we can work through it together.