The pathological man also known as a psychopath, narcissist, sociopath, borderline, abuser etc., is a familiar character in our society. Our culture is fascinated by the callous, remorseless, self centered man who lacks empathy but still harnesses the ability to form warm and trusting attachments with others. Just watch the news, hop on social media, Netflix or Dateline and you are introduced to the gruesome details of their victims sufferings and their uncanny ability to live amongst us undetected.
Men like Ted Bundy, Richard Ramirez and John Gacy make up most of our media yet these men do not make up the majority of pathological men. This obscure group of psychopaths who maintain our popular beliefs about pathological men are quite rare. Due to the medias focus on them we do not pay attention to the pathological men flooding dating sites, living next door or standing beside us in the checkout line. It is estimated that one in every twenty to twenty-five people has some form of pathological, low empathy disorder and will inevitably cause you harm. It is also almost guaranteed that you know one of the people or will encounter one or more in your lifetime.
During my years I have had personal encounters with dangerous men and I have counseled their victims. One thing victims want most is to warn others so that they do not suffer the same devastations that they have. Woman's first inclination is to warn the next victim about the man behind the façade he creates initially. Unlike sex offenders we do not have a registry of names for pathological men. What we do have however is our resources. We can learn from woman who have experienced and survived these relationships. We can study the research that has been done to know what to look for when dating. We can learn more about ourselves and why we fall prey, not one, but two, three times to pathological men. Understanding the red flags and why we choose to ignore them will protect us, our children, our pets and our families from this evil. If you are currently experiencing abuse or experiencing the aftermath we will discuss why it is so hard to overcome and how you can to begin to thrive again.
Next article we will examine who this pathological man is. What are his motives and personality traits? What hiding behind the mask his deception?
If you are one of these woman I understand your pain. Please feel free to contact me. I want to help you.