Updated: Aug 4
Pathological men move on very fast from one relationship to the next. They often have supply (other woman) in their pipeline before they decide to discard you. It is just too scary for them to be alone without someone to fill the void. Pathological men, especially narcissists or those who have narcissistic traits, need constant attention and admiration to stroke their fragile egos. This can be extremely painful and make the one who has been discarded feel unworthy, unlovable and not good enough.
The truth is pathological cluster B personalities are never happy with themselves but, they cannot see that the root of their unhappiness comes from within. This is why they often change jobs or careers, get a new pet, never have friends and cannot sustain long term relationships. It is always something outside themselves that is defective and it must be replaced. We also know these personalities are easily bored. Their lives become boring easily and a long term relationship can at time lose its luster. The pathological cannot delay his gratification. He only lives in the moment and he is entitled to endless instant gratification. It is for these reasons that the pathological cannot sustain long term positive change. His life (relationships, careers, family, location) is constantly changing.
For the one who has been replaced this can be damaging. She often wonders if he will be happy with the next woman. The short answer is no. We know that pathological people cannot sustain positive change for long periods. When the pathological moves on to the next woman we also know that he has not taken the time to find the right person. Finding someone compatible takes a lot of time. The pathological only needs a warm body, he does not know much about his knew victim accept that she is buying into to his false persona and is good for sex. He has found his new toy and instant gratification and because his emotional wounds are shallow he is healed fast. Remember when a pathological man is invested in a new supply he is good at imitating emotions and misleading those around him. But as soon as he looses interest (and he always does) he will let his mask slip and expose his true an emotionally cruel self.
This is how the pathological man exploits people. He tricks them into thinking he loves them and that they mean something to him or they are special and that he cares about them. When that person discovers it was never true it causes intense emotional harm and devastation. Most victims are diagnosed with PTSD due to the severity of the shocking truth.
We know that at a pathological persons core they are insecure and unhappy people. Therefore, when considering whether or not he will be happy with his new supply/partner, lets consider the theory of the Hedonic Treadmill. The studies around this theory have concluded that although circumstances in a persons life may change and they may be happier for a short period of time, their happiness always returns to a set point. This set point stays consistent through out an individuals life. So, even with healthy individuals the beginning of a relationship brings its highs but, always returns to that default level of happiness. With pathological people there is no happiness, behind his charade is just a cold and empty shell of human being and he will default to this set point.
Healthy people who form healthy attachments take time to grieve lost relationships.
Healthy people take time to find someone else who is healthy and compatible and therefore, do not jump from one relationship to another.
Fast moving relationships are a RED FLAG, take your time in forming relationships.
If you or someone you know is having a difficult time, I can help you. Please feel free to reach out to me.